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IX
The
snow was falling in an endless waltz as she came, unannounced,
not knowing what to expect. She sat down next to me, after we
stared into each other’s eyes for the longest time, my heart
bumping, screaming as loudly as it can. I hoped that the noises
of the train had muted that. “Wow, didn’t expect to see you
here, Ron.” She giggled nervously, her eyes shyly looking down
at the red-colored floor.
“Yeah, same here.” I laughed a little, my heart’s noises too
loud for me to hear my thoughts, as my eyes avoided hers,
looking out at the snow’s forever dance. “I thought you were
going to a bar.”
“I
didn’t. I felt a little sick and decided to go home early.”
“Ah, I see.” I nodded, wanting to smash my head on the window,
wishing I could stop being this lame. I wanted to tell her that
I loved her, tell her about the many times I had called out to
her with my tears, how I gazed at her with my heart now. Why is
it so hard to say those three words “I love you”?
“So, I heard that you’re a writer now?” She said, eyes still on
the floor.
“Yeah, and you?” I’m so lame, so pathetic, so foolish.
“I’m a kindergarten teacher.”
“Really? Where?”
“At Voulevard Elementary School.”
“Really?! I live right near that area!” I looked at her,
surprised at the new facts.
“What?” She looked at me then, as we fell onto the trance of
each other’s eyes again, confused by the world that surrounded
us. I wanted so much to tell her that she was beautiful, that I
loved her, that all the things that I could say wouldn’t be
enough to describe her.
She
then broke the trance, as she looked shyly away from me again,
her eyes back on the
floor. “It’s a
wonder how we haven’t bumped into each other yet.”
“Yeah, I know.” I replied quietly, as we both went silent again,
the train moving in a clackety-clickety way. I wished I knew a
way to communicate with her how much I loved her, how much I
wanted to be with her, be with her at all times. I wished I knew
a way to tell her what went on inside my heart, all the
confusion and questions, the way that the world went, the lives
that I wished to live with her.
That was when I felt her hand touch mine, as her fingers
embraced it, holding it tight, yet gently at the same time. I
felt her warmness fuse with mine, as our hearts beated together,
slowly dancing as one. I looked up at her then, not knowing what
to say, not knowing what to feel, the fool that I am.
She
was staring at me already, her eyes deep pools of abyss, windows
into her soul. I stared into her, as she stared into me, no
words needed for the exchange, our hearts talking to each other,
feeling as if time existed no more, and the world is nothing
more than a flow of river past our lives. I understood her
feelings then, as she understood mine, an end with no beginning,
the lives lived as the hearts go.
She
smiled gently then, the smile that I loved so much, no longer
killing my heart, but reviving it, a warm feeling filling my
chest. I felt myself smile then, as our hands held tighter, and
the train rumbled on.
We said nothing
for the rest of the trip, no words were then needed. Her hand
was in mine, as mine was in hers. That’s all we needed to assure
our hearts, as the train slided its way into the darkness,
watching the waltz of the endless snow, the future of our lives.
---Written by Tom Lin |
