Page Three: Change
The
memories started flashing back after Kara had died, as if
reminding Gon of the better days, when he was still happy. The
memories would invade without warning, taking him back to places
he did not wish to visit, scenes he did not wish to see.
This was one of those occasions, as he walked back home from a
long day of classes, his backpack heavy with the weight of
textbooks. An university fair was set up today, in the central
park area of the University. It was on Gon’s way home, so he
decided to check it out for a few minutes before he headed back
home.
The
fair actually had a surprising amount of things he wanted to
buy. Old videogame consoles, records and eight-track tapes, used
laser discs and movies. Not to mention the expected tarot card
readings and cotton candies, hot dog stands and ice cream
vendors. It all felt familiar to Gon, yet it was a feeling from
long ago.
It
was in the rare books booth that he saw it, the plastic cover
barely holding the book together. It was the first volume of
Crystal Ball, a book series Gon wrote a few years ago,
before it was cancelled. The series was about a girl named Lynn
Midori, whose boyfriend was killed during a shooting in a club
named ‘Shooting Stars’, when they were both out on a date. Gon
pretended to not see the book as he walked hastily past it, yet
the book’s title never left his mind.
He had
cried for some reason then, tears falling down as Kara hugged
him, comforting him, the night falling outside. “I’m so stupid,”
Gon had cried then, his voice muffled as he digged his nose into
Kara’s chest. “I don’t know why I’m crying, I’m so stupid for
crying.”
“Shush, Gon.” Kara’s soft voice had reached him,
comforting the sorrows of the heart. “Don’t talk any more, let
it all out, cry all you want. I’ll always be here for you…”
“I’m such a loser. I mean, what author cries when
his characters are killed?… I mean, they’re just fictional
creations, they’re not even real…”
“Gon, don’t say anymore…”
“Yet… They were my creations, my children, my
world…”
“And the three kings arrived at the house of God’s son,” the
loud preachings of the nuns woke Gon out of his thoughts. The
crowd of the University fair was growing larger and larger by
the second. “They brought him the gifts that God told them to
give…”
Why
did those memories come back? He wondered. Is it because he met
someone named Lynn Midori, who looked exactly the same as the
character he had wrote once for his series? Is that it? He
didn’t know, as he walked through the little fair on his way
home. “Hey, I can see you’re troubled!” A cry startled him,
making him look around for the source of the voice. “Come over
here, I’m over here!”
The
voice came from a man in a star-sprinkled coned hat, a dark blue
cape hanging on his thin neck. ‘Wizard Ken Kuroimahou: He can
give you the future you want’, a sign above the man’s stand
said. Gon pretended that he didn’t hear the man, yet the man
persisted, screaming at him loudly through the crowd. “You! Over
here, I tell you! Hey!”
Gon
was a little irritated as he approached slowly the cheap stand
that the so-called ‘wizard’ had set up. “What do you want?” Gon
asked as he neared the stand, shifting his black back bag onto
his left shoulder.
“I
can see that you’re confused, sir.” The Wizard smiled as he said
this, showing him a deck of cards. Each surface had a different
painting on it, and every painting was different for each card,
some had animals and mythical creatures, while others of humans
and fairies of many different kinds. “I can guide you through
the darkness, if you let me…”
“Nobody can help me now,” Gon interrupted, as he turned away
from the man, getting ready to leave.
“Why? Because only writers are able to understand writers?”
Gon
stopped as soon as he heard this, his head turning around to
stare at the wizard. That was Nate’s personal quote, and only he
knew about it. “How did you…”
“I
see that you have quit writing because you have lost your
charm.” The Wizard continued to shuffle his cards. Then he
pulled one out. This one had the painting of a beautiful girl on
it, her long golden hairs covering the nakedness of the body.
“For every writer needs a charm to draw their spiritual energy
from, because the creation of life and worlds requires far more
energy than the one self possess.”
The Wizard flipped the card onto the small dusty
table, the card sliding a little before setting down onto the
surface. “Some writers have a favorite pen for charms, some a
favorite notebook, pet, place, music.” The Wizard smiled as he
continued, his index finger pointing at the card on the table.
“The cards say that yours was a woman, and that in order for you
to write again, you’ll need to find a newer charm, a newer
girl…”
Gon
just looked at him silently, his eyes staring blankly at him.
“How can you help me?” Gon said in a low voice, his dark eyes
still staring at the wizard.
“I
can sell you a future that you can choose, sir.”
“How much?”
The
wizard smiled. “The price is finishing the untitled. That is all
I ask.”
Gon
grabbed angrily at the wizard’s cape. “Are you working with
Danny?!” Gon cried out, as he pulled the wizard toward him.
“I’m not…”
“Tell him I’m not a writer anymore!” Gon yelled furiously at
him. “Tell him that I can’t write anymore! And tell him to leave
me alone!”
He
pushed the Wizard away from him, watching him fall down on the
ground. Gon walked angrily away, yet he turned one last time to
see what the Wizard was doing now. The Wizard was now sitting on
the muddy grass, his brown eyes staring at Gon, not moving them
from Gon’s figure. “Fate has already been predestined,” the
Wizard smiled as he said this. “How can anyone change it?”
Gon
ignored the Wizard’s comments, as he disappeared in the crowd of
faces, still not believing that Danny was low enough to hire a
total stranger to fool Gon, to lie to him and make him start
writing again. Gon wished that Danny would just die, then he
wouldn’t be able to bother Gon anymore about his decision to
quit writing.
* * * * * *
Gon felt more
puzzled than surprised when he saw Lynn’s figure, her hips
swaying under the lights of an afternoon sun, as she stood in
front of his dark-green door. He didn’t know why she was here,
or how she had found his address, for it was unlisted. “Hey,
what are you doing here?” he asked as he approached her, his
hands once again reaching for his keys.
“Thought we’d study together,” she said simply, as her long dark
hair waved in the autumn breeze.
“How did you find my address?” he asked as his key slid into the
lock of the door.
“It’s printed in the student directory.”
“Oh, really?” Gon replied as he opened the door, the tiny
screech of the ungreased door-turn greeting him as he walked in.
“Come in. Do you want anything to drink? Coke? Sprite?”
“Coke will be okay,” she replied as she shyly came inside, her
eyes looking around the dim-lighted hallways, now painted gold
by the setting sun.
Gon
settled his book bag under his desk, and walked casually to his
kitchen. He wasn’t sure if he’d forgotten that his address was
printed on the student directory, or if she was lying and had
found his address some other way. “Make yourself at home,” Gon
yelled from the kitchen, as he pulled out two cans of Coke from
the fridge.
He
almost gasped when he saw that Lynn was reading the untitled,
the pages in her hands. She seemed to have sensed him in the
room, for her eyes shifted quickly up toward him, her hands
still holding the papers. “Sorry for reading it without asking,”
she smiled as she said this, “but this is really great.”
“No, the story’s just okay.” Gon replied quietly, as he handed
her the soda.
“Did you write this?”
“Don’t know.” Gon sat down near the desk, his dark eyes looking
at her.
“I
think this really is great. You should continue this until you
finish it.”
“Don’t know if I can.”
She
looked at him in silence for a minute or two, as if thinking of
a thought that she could not figure out. Then she grabbed the
notebook that contained the last phrase of the untitled, and
placed a black pen into his hands.
“What are you…”
Before Gon could finish his question, she put the notebook in
front of him, and held his right hand in hers, touching the tip
of the pen onto the blank surface of the paper.
“I’ll help you start writing again.” She whispered this quietly
into his ear, as he felt the pen move with its own motivation,
the words once again recorded on the white page. His hand was
once again writing involuntarily without control, without stop,
just as it had before Kara died, before she had walked out of
his life.
* * * * * *
Danny was
the one who stopped the series. Danny was the one who had
cancelled it all. “I just want you to be able to concentrate on
your novels, that’s all,” that was all he said to Gon, and the
monthly book series ceased to exist. Gon knew that the only
reason the monthly series had been cancelled was because they
weren’t selling as well as his novels had. None of them had ever
reached the top twenty best-selling books of the nation.
“Nobody is romantic anymore.” That was all Gon could
say to explain the failure of the series. The series was named
Crystal Ball, Gon’s only attempt into the romance genre,
Gon’s only attempt to be like Nate, to honor what his best
friend had written best before his death. The stories dealt with
Lynn trying to recover from her boyfriend’s death, and then
learning how to love again after she meets a guy named Ron
McKiiroison, at a university fair that her school was having.
Even though Ron never appeared in the series, because it was
cancelled after the release of its second book, just a little
before he was to appear.
“I don’t know why I’m crying,” he had said when he
cried in Kara’s arms, only a few days after the series had been
cancelled, only a few days after the series’ world was
destroyed, its characters no longer existing. “I’m so stupid for
crying.”
“Shush, Gon.” Kara had tried to comfort him, her
hands petting his dark black hair. He never told her about it,
he didn’t know how or why, that Lynn was the personification of
the girl of his dreams, that Lynn was how he had pictured the
most beautiful girl in the world.
Gon
thought about all this as he walked through the university fair,
the crowds were now smaller than the last time he had visited
here. It was the last day of the fair, and almost all the
presenters were preparing to close down their stands. Yet that
little stand was still there, its handmade sign still hanging in
the same place: “Wizard Ken Kuroimahou: He can give you the
future you want”.
As
Gon approached the stand, the wizard noticed him and produced a
smile on his face. “Hi,” Gon said weakly, trying to act as
normal as he could.
“Goodbye,” the wizard replied, as he pulled out his picture
cards and shuffled them in front of Gon again. “The future is
sold out.”
“What?” Gon was surprised when he heard this. A little chill ran
down his back.
“The cards revealed to me that you have found a new charm, and
that the changes she has afflicted onto you have also afflicted
the ways of your heart and mind. You figured that one part of my
sayings were true, so that the other part might be too, right?”
Gon
didn’t know what to say, as he stared silently at the Wizard,
who pulled out a little card from under his cape. “This is the
only future your fate has reserved for you,” he said, as he
handed the card to Gon.
It
was the picture of the Grim Reaper, his dark hood covering the
red eyes that shined in the dark. The caption of the card read
‘Death’. |
